This is Getting Ridiculous
Why am I manifesting this?
(This post was originally published on my Substack, pameladellpalmer.substack.com on April 13, 2026)
I don’t believe in coincidences. As soon as I notice a pattern, I immediately suspect there’s a message in it for me.
Or a lesson, although I do ask that my lessons be as gentle as possible, these days. My team in spirit usually complies, or tries to, as long as I’m paying attention.
My latest lesson has been going on for some time, because while the ‘coincidences’ have been hitting me in the face…for years…I’ve struggled to figure out what they were trying to tell me.
Until now. I think.
This issue is not life or death, by the way. It involves alterations. Of clothes.
I’m 5’1”, petite even by petite standards, hence the frequent need to get my pants and jacket sleeves hemmed.
Over the past four or five years, something incredibly annoying has been happening. My alterations keep coming back incorrect.
I took a blazer in to have the sleeves shortened. But the sleeves were lined, and the linings were not shortened, so that when I put on the jacket, the linings blossomed out of the bottom of the sleeves like a pair of ruffles.
A pair of pants came back with the legs different lengths.
A trench coat’s sleeves were shortened, but those buckled straps at the wrists had to be moved, and while the seamstress had clearly marked the spot on each sleeve, she (or he) placed one strap above that spot, and the other below it, so the two sleeves have straps at wildly different distances from the bottom of the sleeve.
Those are just a few of the issues. And before you say, “Go to a different alterations person!” let me assure you that I did. This happened at three different places. I’ve been to five different alterations shops, and things come back wrong…every single time.
Why? That’s what’s been driving me nuts. Because I know I’m manifesting it, either through something I’m doing, or because there’s a lesson in it for me.
I thought maybe I’d just started to assume they’d come back wrong, so they did. So I tried really, really hard to not expect them to get screwed up.
I tried affirmations, “My alterations always come back perfect!” That didn’t work.
I remembered some advice that I’ve heard, to accept what is. Just be okay with things as they are. So I fixed what I could, tacking up the extra sleeve lining, for example, and tried to be super zen about it all.
I told myself to let it all go, and when something else needed hemming – and invariably came back screwed up – I actually began to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
“Quirky alterations are just my thing!” I told myself. “Who’s really going to notice that one of my jacket cuffs has three buttons and the other one has only two?”
Finally, this week, I think I might have figured out why this keeps happening. It’s not something I’m doing. Rather, it’s something I’m not doing.
A couple of days ago, I picked up a pair of hiking pants that I’d had hemmed. I brought them home, tried them on, and…sure enough…they were still way too long, even though, yes, the tailor measured them with the right shoes.
Now, should I have tried them on before I took them home, to be sure they were correct? Yes, absolutely.
Why didn’t I? Why do I never do that? And why do I never take them back to be fixed if (when) there’s a problem?
This, I’m coming to believe, is the crux of the issue.
I was raised to be nice. I don’t mind a bit of stubborn confrontation, but it kills me to think I’ve hurt someone’s feelings.
Trying on the pants, when I pick them up, feels like I’m saying that I don’t trust that they’ve done them right. (Even though I pretty much know they haven’t, by this point.)
I guess that’s at least part of the reason why I never take them back. It’s the reason I’ve genuinely considered asking the person who screwed up the blazer to fix the screwed-up trench coat, and vice versa, because it’s so much easier to take in a new item for alterations than to walk in and tell someone that they made a mistake and ask them to correct it.
It’s not really me being nice, is it? If I’m honest, it’s me not speaking up for what I need.
I asked my guides if I was right about that and they said yes. They told me that I’d had an issue with a jacket that was incorrectly altered years ago (I know exactly the one they were talking about), but I simply accepted it.
So when, at the soul level, I realized that it was time for me to release this tendency to swallow my voice instead of speaking up for what I need, this alterations issue came up as the perfect, gentle push.
Honestly, I’m in awe of my (or the universe’s) ability to manifest this epic array of errors by these incredibly talented tailors and seamstresses.
If only I could manifest what I do want this easily!
For awhile now, I’ve been on a mission to free my voice, a voice that has been subtly strangled throughout this lifetime, without me always realizing it.
I grew up hearing, “Be more tactful. Don’t be so honest.” I have always considered myself candid and forthright, which is probably why I didn’t realize how much I’ve actually been swallowing my words.
Hence this lesson through the alterations, which has been years in the making. Probably because I wasn’t ready to see it until now.
So where do I go from here? Back to the tailor who did the hiking pants. Then to the seamstress who mismatched the trench coat sleeves. Asking nicely, of course. Always being kind. But also, speaking up for what I need.
Then, I’ve really got to figure out how to stop this speeding manifestation train. Either that or learn how to sew.
The key, I think, is to change my mindset about all of this. I’m not a victim. I’m not helpless.
Did I do this to myself? Sure, though subconsciously. Or higher-consciously. But for a good reason.
Now that I’m aware, perhaps I’ll be more likely to catch myself in other situations, too. Times when I find myself feeling rushed, like when the eye glasses people want me to make a decision on new frames. Or when I’m starting to feel guilty for having a bunch of returns when there’s a line of people behind me…all with a bunch of returns.
It’s okay if I make them wait. It’s okay if I take my time to decide. And it’s okay if I nicely ask the seamstress to fix the mismatched trench coat sleeves.
It may take a little while for my quirky alterations manifestation to wear itself out. Even when something shifts energetically, it can take some time for it to manifest differently in the physical.
But if I have patience, accept what is, and get things fixed and re-fixed, if needed, with grace and humor, it should all settle back to normal. In time.
Lessons suck, of course. But I also really love them.
We all have unhelpful programs and beliefs running in our subconsciouses. It’s hard to clear what we don’t even know is there.
My team keeps bringing mine to my attention, one gentle, if frustrating, lesson at a time. And for that I’m incredibly grateful. (Most of the time.)